I arrived in the US last week. I am happy to be here and I am thrilled to see my family and friends, but I am sad too. I feel sad when I get excited to go to a nice restraunt. I feel sad when I buy a meal greater than $5.00. I felt sad when I purchased a coat because it is so shockingly cold here! I am happy for the opportunity to hang out with my family; I am sad that I left my brothers and sisters there in Honduras. It feels like betrayal. I miss the sweet kids in the nutrition programs. I miss the kids that I interact with on a daily basis: Marlon and Andrea and Nancy and Diana and Selvin and Nohelia and Iris and Gabi and Geovani and Victor and the list goes on... I miss my coworkers. I miss being directly involved. I feel confused. I just figured out who Meredith the missionary is, within the contexts of Honduras and third world life. Now I have to figure out who Meredith the missionary is while she is in the US. I am experiencing role confusion. Erikson and his stages of psychosocial developmental say that I should have figured this out when I was a teenager, and I did... but who I figured out was Meredith in the US. Now I am Meredith in Honduras in the US. No wonder I am confused.
14 November 2007
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3 comments:
that's hard. love you.
Mer--I'm so sad I missed you while you were in the US. I meant to call Jordan's cell phone, but we were busy with my parents being here. Regardless, I love you and miss you.
I am proud of the work you are doing.
It stinks that you feel this way, but, if you didn't, then you might not know you are undoubtedly doing what you need to do. I pray the Spirit will be near you and make your processing easier.
Do you have any idea when your next trip back will be? And, keep saving those pesos for Vienna!
merebear.. you adapted just fine! i had a blast w/ you! i love me some honduran meredith!
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